Indian at Home
Directions there, directions here

By the Minkey Chief

Directions to a party "there".

Inviter: "Okay, you have a pen and paper?"

Invitee: "Yes, go ahead."

Inviter: "Okay, first take Highway 7 South and exit at Calvin Street. Turn left at Hazelnut. Turn right at Greenwood. The house is number 5416 about half way down on the left."

Invitee: "Sounds good. I'll see you at eight."

Inviter: "Excellent, see you there."

Directions to a party "here".

Invitee: "One sec, I'll just get a pen and paper"

Inviter: "Hallo? Hallo? Hallo? Hallo? Hallo? Hallo? Hallo? Hallo? Hallo? Hallo? Hallo? Hallo? Hallo? Hallo?"

Invitee: "Yeah I'm back."

Inviter: "Ah very good, very good. You have pen and paper?"

Invitee: "Yes."

Inviter: "Okay. I'll tell you now? You'll write?"

Invitee: "Yes, tell me."

Inviter: "Ready?"

Invitee: "Yes, tell me."

Inviter: "First you come down that straight road near the place we went last week--remember? When you bought that suitcase? Which one? Ah that one. You come straaaaaaaaiiiiight down that road. No left, no right, straaaaaaiiiiiiiiight you come. Okay? Ah, then, there will be a policeman standing there - and one big junction. Go straaaaaight only. Then there will a big left turn with a shop with many tubelights selling clothes. The shop is called… ah… MALATHI? MALATHI? WHAT IS THAT SHOP CALLED? THAT ONE ONLY, THAT CLOTHES SHOP. AH OKAY. The shop is called Sister Bakery. What? Yes yes, it's a clothes shop only. Don't take that left turn, go straaaaaiiiiight. There will be one right turn with a tree on the corner, a Gulmohur tree with one yellow metal sign on it saying "English Tooshans". Don't take that. You go go go go go and then you will pass a white building. What? No no no, there is only one white building. The others are white, but they are dirty. This is a clean white building. When you pass that white building, there will be a small shop on the right side. Right side. There is a right turn there. Riiight opposite that, there is a left turn, near a tree. Take that. Yes, yes left. Then you go straaaaaaiiiiiiiight until you reach a bridge. Two turns before that bridge is a left turn next to a big complex. Turn there. Okay? No no, the road name is different, I don't know… it is the road with the big tree on the corner. Then you come straight and there will be three cows standing there. After the black cow, there is a right turn. Don't take that. There will be one more right turn and then a left turn. Go straight. Then when you see a school on the right side, you should turn left into a gully. Go through that gully and then you will come into a big field. Take a right turn near a big bush and over the field onto one more road. Then you turn left and you will see a house with a black gate. There are many houses with black gate, but this one will have a blue Bajaj scooter under a tarpaulin inside the garage. Okay?"

Invitee: "Okay great, I'll see you after eight."

Inviter: "No no no, this is not my house. This is my aunty's house. My house is a little difficult. You go knock and my cousin will come and take you to my house. It is very close by."

Invitee: "Errr… okay I'll see you after eight."

Inviter: "Okay… one minute minute. That road I told you no? With the tree? It may be closed. If it is closed you just go on the flyover and turn right. My cousin's house is there only. Okay?"

Invitee: "Okay…" MC