History

BloodyIndian.com appeared on the web in 2005 and in just two weeks, acquired cult status among nearly 28 internet users. The mysterious Minkey Chief published his scathing and profanity-laden views of his own people, but just a few months later, the site vanished as mysteriously as it appeared. Over four bloggers bemoaned its loss and, now, by popular demand (my brother asked), I, the Minkey Chief am back with the all-new Bliddy Indian. (We've just changed the spelling, all the content is the same.)

I should add that I was prodded back into action by Gautam Raja, and he has very kindly offered to edit my work and host it on his site. (Are you surprised though... I mean, have you tried to read the shit he has on his side?)

So hello. The Minkey Chief welcomes you to the spiritual home of the Bliddy Indian. Please be warned that it contains offensive and explicit language, sweeping generalisations and blatant cynicism. Surfer discretion is advised.

Check back now and then. There's more coming.

Typecasting

The Bliddy Indians described on this site are divided into standard issue and prime grade. These people usually respond in very different ways to a situation, for example travelling abroad.

Standard-issue Bliddy Indians go abroad and talk only to other Indians. They eat only rice and daal cooked in communal kitchens where other Bliddy Indians gather. They complain about foreigners, their loose women, their dirty ways and their disgusting food. They will, however, religiously and respectfully put away these foreigners' high-exchange-rate money every month.

The prime-grade Bliddy Indian will go abroad and get a full-blown accent on the walk from the plane to immigration. (Some even get one on takeoff, and some of the worst offenders get one after buying their VIP suitcases on Commercial Street.) They suck up to all the Westerners they meet and try very hard to prove to them that Indians are just Westerners in disguise.

The grading is not, however, to suggest quality differences. Standard issue is tough and hard to swallow, but is at least honest and down-to-earth. Prime grade seems tender and nicely marbled, but has actually gone off, as you'll discover once you start to chew. As a result, standard issue might make you angry, but unlike prime grade, will not make you sick.

There's a certain kind of prime grade that is even more rarified: the "faq-yu" beef of Bliddy Indians as it were. These people are studiedly unimpressed by everything they see, very pointedly know their blue cheese from their armpits, and judge your character and upbringing by the way you hold a glass of wine. Usually, these people need to be slapped hard in the face. With earth-moving equipment.