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Published in Gulf News, March 27, 2007

The baby boy blues

Last time, I wrote about the dangers of being less than one hour late for my neighbour's baby-naming ceremony, but didn't touch upon the other big danger that evening: the baby.

Whenever babies are spotted, or even mentioned, my wife's eyes light up. I, in contrast, get a hunted look and started counting steps to the emergency exits. My good friend, married just a month before I was, is at the same stage. But he has defused the issue by buying a lovely pedigree golden retriever called Ruff. I still have to rely on the glazed eyes and sudden deafness that I use to ward off everything from "We need to vacuum the carpet" to "Let's talk about the future".

You'd think that agreeing to attend a baby-naming ceremony is like offering to do the grocery shopping in a Tikrit market, but it actually makes little difference. My wife's infant-detecting skills are military issue. We'll be sitting at restaurant and she'll suddenly say, "Oh isn't that baby cute!"

I'll look around and see no human young whatsoever in the vicinity, upon which she'll point out of the restaurant window, through the branches of the fern outside, across the parking lot, round the pillars and down the corridor of the next building where there'll be the faint dot that, to my eyes, could be a baby, could be a blue swaddled poodle.

And of course, what comes next is some form of the question: "Would you like one of those?". My stock answers feature anything from belligerence ("What's wrong with a dog?") to frantic misdirection ("Oh look! A cloud!") to abject pretend stupidity ("A blue baby blanket? What would I want a blue baby blanket for?")

If my best friend is around, we usually start making horrible jokes that involve, variously, free labour, barbecues and child-powered vacuum cleaners. But the more cruel the jokes, the wider the indulgent smiles on the wives' faces. They both know that the bluster completely fails to hide two future overindulgent fathers. For all our reticence, my friend and I are pretty clear about what sort of children we want, and boys aren't on the list. After all, we were boys once (and, most of the time, still are) and so we know first-hand just what horrors they can be. My friend is far more vociferous than I am, because he had a sister and was able to make many direct comparisons.

One of his favourite examples is how his idea of "quality time" at home with the parents was simply being under the same roof. It didn't matter that he was closeted in his room with Chris Rea blaring all evening, and that he emerged only to answer questions in grunts over dinner. His sister, by contrast, considered quality time to be regaling the parents with stories of her day, watching television with them and continuing the happy conversation over dinner. My poor parents, with two boys in the house, had no-one to balance this out. (Please feel free to be outraged by the gratuitous generalisations - I'd love to hear that there's a chance in case my prayers aren't answered.)

But after just two minutes of conversation on these lines, either my friend or I will say, "Why on earth are we talking about children?" and we'll quickly start to arm-wrestle or barbecue a leg of lamb or install a turbo-charger in the nearest car.

Of course, none of this bravado fools the wives. If we're brutally honest, it doesn't fool the husbands either. Boys try very hard to be boys, but don't always succeed.

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