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Published
in Gulf News, June 5, 2007
Wrong on many
levels
I've
discovered
an eerie phenomenon here in the US. Friendly Indian couples skulk
in public places waiting to pounce on other Indian couples and offer
them jobs. It has happened to us three times, and friends from other
parts of the country have reported similar incidents.
We
were first attacked a year ago at an electronics store. Two separate
couples in quick succession drew us into conversation, and before
long, both offered me jobs, but without ever revealing what their
companies did.
We
managed to wriggle away, but I wondered: had I been hit by a secret
Indian Abroad Network? Do Indians find each other in distant lands
and share jobs, stock quotes, dinners and housing offers?
On
the other hand, the gentlemen belonged to a community known for
its business sense. Is this how business empires are built? By seizing
an opportunity anytime, even if it's with an imperfect stranger
in an aisle next to epilators, electric razors and shaving gel?
Should I be flattered that their penetrating, money-making eyes
saw in me a spark of honesty and reliability, so they could instantly
say to themselves, "Now THERE is a man who can take my empire
to the next level"?
I chose
the latter, patted myself on the back and got on with life. Then
recently, it happened again. As I walked to our building car park,
I ran into Jai and Jaya, whose names I have changed for my personal
safety… I mean, their privacy. Jai and Jaya were friendly and,
being neighbours, we exchanged email addresses. The next day I had
a job offer in my inbox.
It
wasn't clear what Jai did. Both his website and he alluded to enabling
e-commerce, but bafflingly, the site also sold meal-replacement
shakes, vitamins, energy bars and sports drinks. E-commerce must
be exhausting work.
Morbid
curiosity drove me forward. The next evening, I was seated in Jai
and Jaya's flat, which looked normal except for one thing: a whiteboard
on a stand in the living room.
Jai
began by asking me to tell him what I wanted. I politely conveyed
that he was offering me a job I didn't need, so it was he who should
be talking, and fast. Jai embarked on a monologue that lasted nearly
one and a half hours, at the end of which I was no clearer. However,
I had a feeling I was being recruited to multi-level marketing (MLM)
scheme, on the lines of the infamous Amway.
Jai
followed his speech with a DVD that, he promised, would make everything
clear. The film showed a good-looking couple who talked about how
they broke out of the corporate cycle, worked on their own time
and were able to "achieve their dreams". Intercut with
their earnest recounting were clips of them walking around an enormous
home and garden, driving a fancy car and spending quality time with
their happy children. Not once did they say what they did for a
living.
I eventually
escaped, and wrote Jai a polite email saying I wasn't interested.
And because I was worried about this young couple so far from home,
losing money to a losing scheme, I sent him a link to an article
that took a dim view of MLMs. Jai responded with a rude email and
I knew that to him, and to the other "astute businessmen"
before, I was merely a potential cash cow. So much for my shining
aura of honesty and reliability.
Let's
imagine though, that MLMs do work. How much money would you
need to justify spending your evenings lurking in malls with your
spouse, looking for people to hoodwink?
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